Setting the Meatless Stage

So let’s start by clearing the air. Yes, this is my blog about being a new vegan but I must be honest… this is not my first vegan adventure. My first trip through the vegan frontier was about 2 yr ago and went a little something like this:

I was in my dietetic internship (oh! That’s the other thing, I’m a Registered Dietitian. So, I’m not a complete dummy about health and food but don’t be surprised by my shockingly American unhealthy lifestyle) working in the nutrition clinic preaching plant based diets etc. to every man, woman, and child with every ailment under the sun, predominantly obesity, cardiovascular disease, diabetes and so on. About 2 weeks in I had an epiphany! Here I am, this young 20-something, telling all these sick middle aged people to eat more fruits and vegetables, less fast food, less processed foods, more whole grains yada yada and not only do I eat like crap, I don’t know how to pick a vegetable let alone make a meal of one! I don’t cook. In fact, I strongly dislike cooking (too lazy). But, eating… I know eating. I unjustly blame my mom for that. She only cooked out of necessity with few vegetables and little deviation from box mac & cheese, hamburger helper, and hot dogs & beans. Have I mentioned we even got a Christmas card from Domino’s once? That’s how often we ate pizza. Not surprising my entire immediate family is obese with high blood pressure. Guess that’s why I became a dietitian.

I digress. So, ok, I realize I’m a huge hypocrite. What do we do about this? I turned to an experiment with veganism for 6 months to truly know what it’s like to be on the other side of that table. How can I be a good clinician if I don’t really know my patients? What about my families struggling with food allergies? They need to become master label readers for their son or daughter’s safety. How could I genuinely sympathize? Well, I think I found my answer. I decided to walk a mile in the shoes of all those junk food junkies I’m advising and eat a plant based diet; which is quite possibly the farthest thing from their current diet and my own.

The first words out of everybody’s mouths were “Why?” then “Why not just vegetarian?” My response: Vegetarian is too easy. I hate handling meat as it is; like it, don’t love it. Plus, for this to really make an impact I must force myself outside of my comfort zone. So off I went, buying some vegan cookbooks and scouring the “natural foods” aisles at the nearest supermarkets. I did ok. Boy, did I miss cheese. Real Cheese. This soy cheeze had nothing on the real thing. Otherwise, I was fine with mock meat and pb&j sandwiches. Had some tough times when out to eat with friends. Almost had a breakdown in a mall food court because I was starving and the only thing I could eat was a salad. The last thing I wanted was another friggin’ salad. Dropped 15 lbs in the first 3 months then proceeded to gain most of it back when I got lazy and turned to a strong dependence on French fries, Clif bars, Red Bull, and Swedish fish.

That’s where I went wrong. I was committed to the guidelines of “what not to eat” but not “what to eat.” I was also in this subconscious temporary state where I knew by the 4^th of July I’d be eating cheeseburgers again. Side note- it’s very interesting how others respond when you tell them it’s only temporary. Their faces have this “Phew!” look on them and they don’t think you’re quite as crazy and sadistic.

Where does that leave us now? Well, I’m right back where I started. Hypocritically unhealthy. I’m barely 5’1”, 135lb, always tired, moderately depressed and generally unfulfilled. Don’t get me wrong! I have a good job that I mostly enjoy, a great live-in boyfriend who cooks 99.9% my meals, and a loving family. Yet something is still missing; a zest or a purpose. I feel so dull and blah… may have something to do with the constipation. (Forgot to warn you, I’m real big on TMI, especially regarding bowel movements. Hey! Everybody poops and it’s important.) Well, recently we attended “Thankstobeirfast- a vegan thanksgiving drunken delight” at my boyfriend’s ex-coworker’s house (pardon the obscurity). Since then it hit me hard. I miss being vegan. I miss being more empowered over what I put in my body. I miss easily resisting the urge for every brownie in sight on the grounds of solidarity vs willpower. I miss not being crappy. And I kinda liked being different. I really liked being thinner.

In a manic revelation, I stomped my foot down and said “that’s it, I’m going Vegan!” To further my manic streak, in the shower (because that’s where I do the best thinking) I formulated this fabulous idea to start a blog about it. And here we are today.